There are times where I felt like crying everything out but I can't cry. All I can do is keep everything to myself, no matter it is good or bad stuffs. My friends sometimes when saw me like this will ask me what is wrong but I'm afraid to tell them what is wrong with me. Whenver there is something wrong with me, I'll keep very quiet and peole around me will start noticing that something is wrong with me. Why is it that everytime I want to do something there will be some blockage to it. I just want to go out with my friends and there will be something blocking me to do what I want. The phrase " Time is always right to do the right thing" is not suitable for me. The time is always wrong whenever I want to do the right thing. Sometimes I don't know whether have I made the right decision of letting my friends down. I hope that they will not blame me for making the wrong decision. Just take today, I can actually go out with my friends but because of one call I have to go home straight. If I don't go home, I'll get scolding from my parents. But yet, what ever happened at home has nothing to do with me, although I went home but it seems that whether I'm at home or not has nothing to do with me. It seems that even if I went home, my parents don't even bother and my dad is not even home. I really want to know did I made the right decision of not going out with my friends today. I really want to know. There are times I want to talk to someone but there aren't anyone that I trust is around to listen to me. There is actually one person that I trust and I always listen to her as I treat her as my sister but she's busy and she has her own problems to settle too so I dare not disturb her so much. Is there any other way I can release my problems without disturbing other people? I'm really desperate to let everything go as I'm afraid that I'll start releasing my problems all at one go and this time I'm afraid that it may hurt more than one person. I don't want to hurt my friends or family or anybody.
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