Friday, October 24, 2008
Keeping Everything to Yourself
There are times where I felt like crying everything out but I can't cry. All I can do is keep everything to myself, no matter it is good or bad stuffs. My friends sometimes when saw me like this will ask me what is wrong but I'm afraid to tell them what is wrong with me. Whenver there is something wrong with me, I'll keep very quiet and peole around me will start noticing that something is wrong with me. Why is it that everytime I want to do something there will be some blockage to it. I just want to go out with my friends and there will be something blocking me to do what I want. The phrase " Time is always right to do the right thing" is not suitable for me. The time is always wrong whenever I want to do the right thing. Sometimes I don't know whether have I made the right decision of letting my friends down. I hope that they will not blame me for making the wrong decision. Just take today, I can actually go out with my friends but because of one call I have to go home straight. If I don't go home, I'll get scolding from my parents. But yet, what ever happened at home has nothing to do with me, although I went home but it seems that whether I'm at home or not has nothing to do with me. It seems that even if I went home, my parents don't even bother and my dad is not even home. I really want to know did I made the right decision of not going out with my friends today. I really want to know. There are times I want to talk to someone but there aren't anyone that I trust is around to listen to me. There is actually one person that I trust and I always listen to her as I treat her as my sister but she's busy and she has her own problems to settle too so I dare not disturb her so much. Is there any other way I can release my problems without disturbing other people? I'm really desperate to let everything go as I'm afraid that I'll start releasing my problems all at one go and this time I'm afraid that it may hurt more than one person. I don't want to hurt my friends or family or anybody.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Person who turns quiet
Have you ever wonder why would one just keep quiet when being scold by someone else? It's not because that person has done any wrong but was scolded unnecessarily by the other person without knowing what has 'I' done wrong. Being scolded is one thing, what about not being able to know what was wrong or being able to fight back.
I have gone thru these situation before and I understand what it feels. Not being able to fight back is something hard for one person, especially if that person is used to talk all out without having to bother what is the consequences so that they don't have to worry about that problem again later. Many people will tell you worry about the problem later, "what you can do it have fun now to comfort yourself, relax." Have they ever thought that if I were to worry about the problem later, there may not be any solution to the problem and it will only make matters worse. There are times where people will start to think about anything. And this is the time they will start thinking of all the problems that they have gone thru. The problems they thought may be those that they have solved but they will will also think of those problems that they have not solve. These problems are the ones that makes them do a lot of thinking. These problems are the ones that make them confuse on what they are doing.
If one person keeps too much things to themselves, they will start to change themselves. They will start to change to a passive person. And when one becomes a passive person, people surrounding them will start to notice and they might dissappear. What I mean disappear is that they will start to leave you and you will start losing your friend. When one lose a friend, they will be start to be lonely and when one is lonely, they have no friend to talk to aboout their problem. So whatever you do, don't turn yourself into a passive person and start isolating yourself. Isolating yourself means that you start to lose friends and when you have no friends, there is no one to talk to.
I have gone thru these situation before and I understand what it feels. Not being able to fight back is something hard for one person, especially if that person is used to talk all out without having to bother what is the consequences so that they don't have to worry about that problem again later. Many people will tell you worry about the problem later, "what you can do it have fun now to comfort yourself, relax." Have they ever thought that if I were to worry about the problem later, there may not be any solution to the problem and it will only make matters worse. There are times where people will start to think about anything. And this is the time they will start thinking of all the problems that they have gone thru. The problems they thought may be those that they have solved but they will will also think of those problems that they have not solve. These problems are the ones that makes them do a lot of thinking. These problems are the ones that make them confuse on what they are doing.
If one person keeps too much things to themselves, they will start to change themselves. They will start to change to a passive person. And when one becomes a passive person, people surrounding them will start to notice and they might dissappear. What I mean disappear is that they will start to leave you and you will start losing your friend. When one lose a friend, they will be start to be lonely and when one is lonely, they have no friend to talk to aboout their problem. So whatever you do, don't turn yourself into a passive person and start isolating yourself. Isolating yourself means that you start to lose friends and when you have no friends, there is no one to talk to.
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